Let’s get a few things out-of-the-way, right off the jump. I hate men who hit women. Hate them. I think them to be the slime of the world, and if every one of them was dragged out behind a barn and shot in the face, I feel like this world would be a better place. A perfect example of this is my CONSTANT calling out of Chris Brown. While that may seem a simple target, he is a woman beater who was not held accountable, and honestly, those are the worst kinds of people. They learn nothing, and continue with their chauvinism and violence, all but unswayed by repercussion. BUT, let’s switch it up. How about we find every PERSON who hits their partner in a marriage or relationship, and we drag them ALL behind barns and shoot them in the face? ALL of them. Do you think there would be more women or more men left in the world after that? I can tell that no one wants to answer right now, because it is an epidemic (I will use that word a lot here) when you think of it in those terms, but let’s be honest. Though men may often deliver far more vicious (and far more often, fatal) beatings, I can say with all confidence that more woman hit men more often than men hit woman. Yes, I just said that. This article is not to make one more pressing than the other, but it IS to bring attention to the side no one ever talks about out of pride or shame. Now it’s time for all the guys who have ever been slapped or punched in a relationship to put that pride aside, forget your ego for a minute, and admit it happened. And if you are ANYTHING like me, you did NOT hit back because you just fucking DON’T do that, period. And kudos to you for that, but let’s address the other part. Why does mass media and society deem it okay for men to be hit by woman?
If you switched the genders and act of violence on the sign, people would go apeshit, yet in this context, it’s funny?
Confession time: I held off on writing this for so long because I was genuinely afraid some of my male friends would be hit as the result of this. That is NOT a joke. SO MANY of my male friends have been or are hit in their relationships, that I actually stopped writing this multiple times before in fear the girlfriend’s of certain friends would think this was specifically about them, and go on a beating rampage. Again, not a joke. Do you realize just how utterly and unforgivably fucked up that is to try to grasp?
That is the exact reason I NEED to write it now. Like, honestly, when did this all become okay? And don’t tell me it isn’t, because Hollywood and all the world has shown us the opposite for years now.
HAHAHAHA, oh man, abuse never fails to tickle my funny bone.
Don’t believe me that psychical violence toward men from women is the norm? REALLY? Ok, let’s talk about movies and TV for a second. How often do you see a woman slap a man in the face in a scene where he does something she opposes? I am not talking about anything molesty or super-evil that warrants a physical attack. I am simply saying during a disagreement? Quite often, slaps are used in breakup scenes when needing to transition into the female storming off. The guy will say something emotionally distant, like,” I never loved you anyway”, and instead of just walking off or telling him to fuck off, she slaps him in the face and leaves.
Seriously, it happens all the time. In some cases, the slap happens when the guy admits he DOES love her, like in Moonstruck:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, Look at Cher! Wild, uncalled for physical abuse on the opposite gender is HILARIOUS!! Oscar-worthy, even!
The reason I bring this issue up is because you all need to know why is this not addressed as the epidemic that it really is, and the reason is simple. Guys are too embarrassed to admit their girlfriends beat their ass. Again, no joke, no punchline. Just sad honesty.
And real men, of which there are far more of than this world alludes, would not hit a woman back, no matter the context or reason. So, in essence, you have a nation of men being beaten by their woman, yet speaking of it to no one. How do I know this? Because I had an insane girlfriend who used to hit me. Yeah, no shit. Did I ever hit her back? No, never even considered it. But I know it for the sizable problem it really is, and I know that because I was knuckle deep in it. So why didn’t I just leave? I obviously did, or would not be writing this right now, and I also learned in that moment what I would never tolerate that shit again, but it takes you a long while to get to that conclusion. And as a world, we need to change that. We need to recognize the problem and extend a hand to those who need it.
It was only in breaking my own silence and speaking of it to some good friends that I learned the truth. It was FAR more widespread than I could have ever known. Out of 20 couples I knew, 14 of the men had been hit by their spouses. When I discovered that number, I thought I was insane, so I dug deeper, and that sad reality is that statistic stuck. In none of the cases were any of the women hit back. I actually had a female friend talk to the females extensively, and that is the honest to God truth. None of these women seemed outright violent, and truth be told, when society silent tells them it is okay to do this, I cannot completely vilify them, but all inter-relationship violence NEEDS to stop. The act is unforgivable, and only perpetuates itself for generations.
Listen, I hate my gender, too, but that doesn’t give anyone the right to just slap the shit out of them.
And you want to see how people react to a man being abused by a woman in public? I need to warn you, this is highly upsetting stuff:
Did you hear that? “Men do more damage, but woman HIT MORE THAN MEN DO.” That, my friends, is the reality, spoken from the lips of a woman. And no one intervened when the man was being beaten up public because some stated they assumed the woman “posed no real physical threat” to the man. Or, in the worst cases, ASSUMED THE MAN HAD IT COMING. Holy shit, does nobody see how rapey that comment is? Implying that ANYTHING this man could have done would be deserved of a beating is sick logic. That is like saying a woman in a short dress deserves to be raped. Those two schools of logic are just as fucking archaic as each other.
I also laugh at the “no physical threat” thing. Oh, so if a tiny dog is biting me, you will walk away, but if a Pitbull is locked on my neck you will save me? Give me a break. The lies people tell sicken me. Like I said before, this shit is going on everywhere, and yet no one is talking about, so, epidemic.
I surprised the actual slap isn’t pixelated.
It is the unspoken double standard in our society, too. Though the restraints and expectations put on woman by mass media are disgusting and over-saturated, in the same breath, society wants men to be sensitive and genuine and sweet and humble, yet also wants them to be alphas and in control. And if any man is seen as not in control, or in this case, being straight beaten by a woman, he is not a man, and it doesn’t count, so no one even bats an eye. THE FUCK IS THAT LOGIC?
Sorry I am cussing so much in this piece, but I find myself in awe at the scope of this, and just how swept under the rug it really is. So this brings us to our next point: What do we do?
Well, this part is a bit more difficult, because it involves men being more vocal about being involved in psychically violent relationships. It is commonly known how embarrassing and hard it is for a woman to come forth with the news that she is being beaten, and the same can very much be said for a man. The reality is, a man tells no one because he genuinely fears being laughed at, and in this instance, would rather take the bruises than feel the shame of being openly mocked. So you see, this is sad and scary, and needs to be addressed. And sadly, we all only perpetuate the problem instead of trying to recognize or change it. I say we step up and change it. First step is recognizing it as a problem, which is why we are all here, right now. Share this article and the idea held within. No one should be living scared in their relationship, and no one EVER has the rights to put hands on, no matter the gender.
Sorry, I’m running out of shitty stock photos to use.
By admitting we are aware of this, and saying we won’ allow it, we can change it, and that is the step we need to be at. Guys, if you are getting slapped or hit, that is just not okay. Get the fuck up and walk out. And ladies, if you are hitting your dudes, you suck and are no better than the countless women beaters all of society hates so much and wishes would just collectively crawl under a rock and die.
The post Slapping Is Okay: Why Is It So Acceptable In Society For Men To Get Domestically Abused appeared first on Remy Carreiro.
